[Malcolm Armsteen]

In which we publicise events and acts which display proper British values, The five foundational British values, as defined by the UK's Department for Education, are: democracy, the rule of law, individual liberty, mutual respect, and tolerance for those with different faiths and beliefs.

I'll kick off with this Instagram post from Spike's old school, where Spud starts in September:

Screenshot 2026-07-10 at 11.18.48.jpeg (404.91 KiB) Viewed 420 times

[Youngian]

Aren't they universal values liberal democracies hold anywhere in the world? If the British state dissolved its likely England, Wales and Scotland would still espouse them as the Republic of Ireland does.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

Aren't they universal values liberal democracies hold anywhere in the world? If the British state dissolved its likely England, Wales and Scotland would still espouse them as the Republic of Ireland does.

Yes, so what's your point?

[Crabcakes]

My shorthand for real British values and things to be proud of is everything in the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony.

Notable as the subsequent Tory governments fucked up, ran down, or otherwise tainted more or less everything that was something to be pointed to as a genuine British achievement.

[Youngian]

Colonial expansion, military consolidation in the face of Spanish invasion threats and the Protestant ascendancy were the main reasons for forming the British state. The idea it was forged to spread Enlightenment values is a bit of history replacement therapy for modern ears.

[Oboogie]

My shorthand for real British values and things to be proud of is everything in the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony.

Notable as the subsequent Tory governments fucked up, ran down, or otherwise tainted more or less everything that was something to be pointed to as a genuine British achievement.

"Values" and "achievements" are different though.
Listing what are objectively great British achievements is straightforward.
Establishing which values are exclusively British is far more complex and subjective.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

Colonial expansion, military consolidation in the face of Spanish invasion threats and the Protestant ascendancy were the main reasons for forming the British state. The idea it was forged to spread Enlightenment values is a bit of history replacement therapy for modern ears.

What about British values?

[Bones McCoy]

British values include TV advertising so bad that it's unforgettable:

[Yug]

I have come to believe that there are no such things as "British values". A lot of what people think of as British are just values which are shared by other people in other countries around the world. None of them are uniquely British.

[Andy McDandy]

See also the adding of "Great British" to anything. Sense of humour, maybe. Coastline, for sure. Fry-ups, air shows, bake-offs and the like? Fuck off. At best they're southern English.

See also "quintessentially" and "iconic".

[Oboogie]

Values are individual and personal, they don't respect national borders, the five values listed are neither exclusively British nor are they universally held by British people.

[Youngian]

See also the adding of "Great British" to anything. Sense of humour, maybe. Coastline, for sure. Fry-ups, air shows, bake-offs and the like? Fuck off. At best they're southern English.

See also "quintessentially" and "iconic".

Maybe the Green Cross Code is the nearest to a British constitution. Heard a retired James Callaghan on a phone-in many years ago say his most important decision in his career was as a junior transport minister under Atlee who introduced cats eyes. Cinemas are a British invention to stop audiences being burned to death from projector fires. Ever seen pictures of 19th century steamers leaving California for Alaska full of gold prospectors? They weren't allowed in via Canada without the proper kit which would prevent dickheads from dying north of the Artic circle. 'elf and safety gawn mad' is what make us British.