[Youngian]

Not exactly pulling out the stops with this gift to the PM of St Lucia. What have these rush of Caribbean royal trips been in aid of? The royals are looking like a symbol of Britain and its growing geopolitical impotence.

[Andy McDandy]

Convincing Brenda that the Commonwealth will be flourishing for years after she carks it. While in reality some say it's only a thing at all because nobody has the heart to pull the plug while she's still alive.

[Watchman]

Yes, I was pondering that, especially as the supposedly "most popular" ones have just been, and that didn't go down too well with the locals

[Bones McCoy]

An attempt to distract form Barbados going republic.