https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... rexit.html
Littlecock 'does' the Covid enquiry, by riffing on Peter Cook's "Entirely a Matter for You" monologue. Which is a bit like asking Paul Thomas to 'do' Bruegel.
Thing is, the original Cook skit was about acquitting an apparently very guilty man in the face of overwhelming evidence. But here:
Mr Hancock has still not provided a satisfactory explanation as to how contracts for hundreds of millions of pounds of PPE equipment were awarded to Tory donors with no previous medical supplies experience. I speak specifically of a Mr Arthur Daley, managing director of Daley Into Europe Inc, which operates out of a lock up in Acton; and Mr Derek Trotter, proprietor of Trotter's Independent Traders, which has branches in New York, Paris and Peckham. Mr Daley and Mr Trotter are, as far as I can make out, complete and utter crooks.
Billions of pounds were wasted on PPE which never arrived or was unfit for purpose. But we have been unable to verify wilder allegations that public money intended for the NHS was diverted to more nefarious items of expenditure, including the purchase of several rolls of expensive gold wallpaper and the provision of prosecco and birthday cake for illicit gatherings in No 10 Downing Street.
Which brings me the evidence of the defendant, Boris Johnson. You may choose to believe the testimony of this philandering fantasist and his arrogant dismissal of all the charges against him as a merely an inverted pyramid of piffle.
You may think him the most discredited, embittered, most unreliable, most dishonest, most economical-with-the-actualité witness ever to have sullied a witness box in any court of law in this country, let alone to have become Prime Minister and aspiring President of the World.
You may, on the other hand, care to regard him as a true, selfless Churchillian patriot, a man who saved Britain from Covid and Got Brexit Done.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is entirely a matter for you. You poor deluded fools.
Boris Johnson taking Britain out of the EU did more damage than coronavirus and it is for that, rather than any mistakes he may or may not have made during the pandemic, that he must be severely punished.
And on that sole count, ladies of gentlemen of the jury, you must now retire to consider your verdict of... GUILTY!
After reading which, I thought, is Littlejohn acknowledging that all that shit happened on Johnson's watch, but it's OK because he got fucking Brexit done? That they're only going after him because of Brexit and not the fucking thousands of deaths, the billions of looted money, the trashing of every standard in public life? The ultimate "Yeah but he's a mate..."? That would take some sort of moral vacuum stretching from here to Pluto.
Then I thought, "Littlejohn. Yeah."
Malcolm, the catchphrase please!
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