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Re: Telegraph
Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 4:15 pm
by Bones McCoy
Killer Whale wrote: ↑Tue Jun 17, 2025 10:24 pm
Dalem Lake wrote: ↑Tue Jun 17, 2025 9:43 pm
A spokesman for the Potato Processors Association said: “Most of our members already supply both the EU and UK markets and they have therefore adapted to EU requirements by reformulating their products accordingly.”
Frazzles and Walkers Smoky Bacon changed their recipe in 2023, to keep selling into the EU.
Rule takers.
First they came for our asbestos topped snacks.
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2025 8:35 am
by Youngian
Trolling for clicks
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2025 8:37 am
by Samanfur
We're going to need a smaller nanoviolin.
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2025 10:38 am
by Bones McCoy
Crikey, what next in the ladder of Rich people's penury:
* My horses are getting cold.
* I can't afford dowries for my daughters.
* I can't pay to commission my sons in socially prestigious regiments.
I've probably said this before:
* There's Charles Dickens / Irvine Welsh poor - for folks like us.
* There's Jane Austen / Leo Tolstoy poor - for Telegraph writers.
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2026 6:03 pm
by Youngian
Andrew misses the cutting satire of Paul Thomas and Brant.
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2026 3:30 pm
by Youngian
The Allister Heath Headline Generator
In honour of the Sunday Telegraph editor's apocalyptically pessimistic worldview, we present the Allister Heath Headline Generator. Choose an issue of the day. Press the button. Get your own tailor-made right-wing existential crisis clickbait
https://stirring-fox-7e1fab.netlify.app/
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2026 3:47 pm
by Oboogie
Whilst Mailwatch destroying The Telegraph is a splendid aspiration, I think we might be overreaching.
Sorry.
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2026 7:17 pm
by Bones McCoy
Oboogie wrote: ↑Thu Feb 26, 2026 3:47 pm
Whilst Mailwatch destroying The Telegraph is a splendid aspiration, I think we might be overreaching.
Sorry.
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2026 9:38 am
by Youngian
Not from the AH headline generator
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2026 9:56 am
by kreuzberger
Fucking weirdo.
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2026 10:05 am
by Bones McCoy
kreuzberger wrote: ↑Fri Feb 27, 2026 9:56 am
Fucking weirdo.
Show me one (of them) who isn't.
It's a movement packed out with FLKs.
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2026 8:23 am
by Yug
Torygraph headline
Starmer’s blind obedience to international law is a boon to the world’s monsters
Obeying the law is wrong, says mouthpiece of the "Party of law and order".
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2026 1:28 pm
by Killer Whale
Yug wrote: ↑Tue Mar 03, 2026 8:23 am
Torygraph headline
Starmer’s blind obedience to international law is a boon to the world’s monsters
Obeying the law is wrong, says mouthpiece of the "Party of law and order".
Yeahbutt international law is made to force foreign Johnnys into line. Good chaps like us are above that sort of thing.
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2026 8:07 pm
by Bones McCoy
This headline has received a scathing conclusion from the Independent Press Standards Organisation.
Telegraph censured for story of fictional family’s struggle to pay school fees
Watchdog upholds complaint it breached code with article about impact of VAT on banker who did not exist
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2026/ ... chool-fees
How we empathised at the story of Al and Alexandra and children, Ali, Harry and Barry.
Such similar names must have caused confusion in the Moy household.
The article claimed that after the addition of VAT to school fees, introduced by Labour on 1 January 2025, the couple were forced to switch supermarkets from Waitrose to Sainsbury’s, reduce their gardener to once a month and were taking fewer long-haul foreign holidays in order to make ends meet.
But the family did not exist.
DID NOT EXIST
Who needs the Alister Heath Headline Generator when you've got proper Telegraph nutters doing the job.
The Weeping Angel wrote: ↑Sun May 25, 2025 1:57 pm
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/earn- ... hool-fees/
Last summer, Al Moy, 38, an investment banker and father of three, received a letter from his daughter Ali’s school saying they were increasing their fees by £10,000. Shortly afterwards, fees for the school his son Harry went to went up by £5,000.
“Almost overnight, the school fees went up from £55,000 per year to £70,000. The increase was shocking, but not entirely unexpected,” Moy says. “Ultimately, I believe, the education provided and the sacrifices we will have to make are worth it.”
Al is not quite sure why the increase at his daughter’s school was so much more than his son’s, but said they broke it down as £7,000 VAT, £2,000 on social activities and a £1,000 administrative fee.
The rest of the article is worse and the photo looks like it's being touched up.
Re: Telegraph
Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2026 10:03 am
by soulboy
Censured. Reprimanded. Made to say sorry.
That'll learn 'em.
All the impact of a Lindsay Hoyle "early cup of tea" zinger.