Mailwatch(ed) Forum

That's a wonderful description.

https://smry.ai/proxy?url=https%3A%2F%2 ... on_desktop

It's been a busy week. His Great Mates Fargle and Trump! Chinese spy rings! The Traitors coming to an end (hey, what if the cabinet meetings were like the Traitors roundtables?)! So much to go with....

Justin Welby got flashed by a speed camera.

Yes, as the world order was torn up, and the autocrats claimed victory, Dickie decided that the burning issue of our time was 20mph speed limits. A long list of suspects get a bashing. There's Sadiq Khan, as you might expect, being pilloried for having a mandate. The Senedd - sorry, "Toytown government in Wales". The caahncil, wherever it is. Lots of criticism of the caahncil for thinking that consultation does not mean binding irrevocable vote (if we win). Cyclists and moped drivers get a bashing too - well, they're all probably lefties and minorities anyway.

And if faced with a fine (£1000 and £500 are mentioned), you can avoid it (and the points) by going on a speed awareness course. But that's no good! How dare anyone tell ME how to drive?

...where even if you’ve had a clean licence for 50 years you will be addressed as if you are a child with special needs...

Having done the speed awareness course (which when I took it was derived from the police's advanced driving course), I'll tell you that you don't get talked down to unless you refuse to take it seriously. And as for 50 years of no accidents, so what? One slip-up could cost a life.

And the logic he's using is at odds with his usual preaching on, say, migrants (where the danger of one of them being a crook justifies treating them all like shit).

How dare anyone tell me what to do? Just 3 days after Please Tough American Men with Guns, Tell Me What to Do.

Ah, another quote from the 'wonderful' Only Fools And Horses.

Finger on the fuckin' pulse, there.

The first and most inviolate rule of Mailland:

No PLU motorist ever commits a real crime.

I think we all know the problem here; the man is a despicable, lazy, dishonest, cowardly, traitorous cunt.

Rosvanian wrote: ↑Sat Jan 24, 2026 9:39 am I think we all know the problem here; the man is a despicable, lazy, dishonest, cowardly, traitorous cunt.

And well rewarded for it.

The Weeping Angel wrote: ↑Thu Jan 22, 2026 8:49 pm

Then what, Richard?

Bulldoze the Cenotaph and install a Trump Tower?

Yeah, because the Cenotaph glorifies losers.

Thinking just a little more about the Floridian Fuckwit's article: turn it around. Would it have been just as acceptable to the traitors at the Mail if "Trump" was replaced by "Putin"?

This is literally the week Trump’s said British soldiers dodged the frontline?

https://www.thepoke.com/2026/01/26/jame ... ng-ticket/

Interesting thing here - Kelvin 'The Cunt' MacKenzie has recently been done for speeding, and mentions 'a mate' from North London facing a ban.

Aside from the North London thing, he could perhaps be talking about Littlejohn.

Caught out by the 20mph limits in places, perhaps?

One of the cast on Eastenders was caught recently but took it on the chin with good grace: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn0k34yy454o

Andy McDandy wrote: ↑Mon Jan 26, 2026 10:51 am https://www.thepoke.com/2026/01/26/jame ... ng-ticket/

Interesting thing here - Kelvin 'The Cunt' MacKenzie has recently been done for speeding, and mentions 'a mate' from North London facing a ban.

Aside from the North London thing, he could perhaps be talking about Littlejohn.

https://smry.ai/proxy?url=https%3A%2F%2 ... on_desktop

Trump never meant what he said, Starmer has no influence, Trump loves us, boo to Europe, Trump loves our king, yay for the SAS, Trump loves Nigel, Labour hates the army, NI peace process is a sham, send in the SAS to bust some heads, they've got money to spend on dole scum but not on homeless veterans, Reform will fix everything, you can't sing Baa Baa Black Sheep any more, they come over here and take all the jobs....

Cunt.

During my Christmas holiday in the States, I paid a visit to the impressive Navy SEAL museum in Fort Pierce, Florida.

Holiday? Chinny reckon. The museum is about fifteen miles from Vero Beach.

My guess is

Paid to guess from Vero Beach. That’s the life.

https://smry.ai/proxy?url=https%3A%2F%2 ... EJOHN.html

Bins, recycling, bins, fly tipping, why don't they go after the real criminals, why this law shouldn't apply to us, you know who's really doing the crimes, meanwhile here's some gay sailors, here's a TV show getting remade, bet it'll be full of trans lesbian androids, I hate women, I'm a massive cunt.

Laydees in the noddy. Tee hee, fnaar fnaar

I still can't shake the image of our Prime Minister Theresa May getting undressed under a duvet in Beijing a few years ago in case there were hidden cameras in her bedroom.

She must have looked like Harry Houdini trying to escape from a sack.

https://smry.ai/proxy?url=https%3A%2F%2 ... on_desktop

Alien vs Predator time, as Littlejohn tackles Mandelson.

There are some images you just can’t unsee. Last week it was Theresa May undressing beneath a duvet in Beijing, like Harry Houdini escaping from a sack, to avoid China obtaining embarrassing nude pictures which could be used as ‘kompromat’ – compromising material – against her.

In fairness, that was a figment of my own vivid imagination. No such photos existed, at least not that we know about.

Mandelson's clearly a cunt, but hopefully if he fucks off into obscurity, we'll never have to deal with Dickie in 'I told you so' mode for a while.