[Boiler]

Britain's biggest 'baby deserts' are revealed amid terrifying threat of 'underpopulation': Interactive map shows how many children women have in YOUR area

Complete with an interactive map that shows "UK mother births" and "Foreign mother births".

That'll keep the Great Replacement Theory folks occupied for a while...

[Youngian]

Freefalling birth rates have triggered doomsday warnings about population collapse

Birthrates haven't freefalled, doomsday warnings haven't been triggered and no one has predicted population collapse.
There's a slight fall in the birthrate which brings some new economic problems to solve. It's not doomsday.

[Andy McDandy]

YEBBUT WHERE'S THE PAKIS?

[satnav]

Another bag of shite from the Mail. After numerous paragraphs about him watching films on his I pad and spending too much money on trains and hotels at around paragraph 19 they quote a member of his staff who says that he is always sending out emails at 5 o' clock in the morning. So he is not nodding off in the middle of his working day he is having a nap after being up for nearly 12 hours.

[RedSparrows]

This is possibly one of the most self-parodying headlines I've ever seen from the Mail or the MoS:



Astonishing.

[Crabcakes]

This is a verbatim transcript of today’s Mail headline. I’ve retyped it because it’s odd enough as it is, but outside of a front page it’s clearly unhinged:

LIVERPOOL SUSPECT IS A COMPANY DIRECTOR

PARADE DRIVER HELD FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER IS FATHER OF THREE WHO LIVES IN A CUL-DE-SAC

1. What relevance is it what his level of job seniority is?
2. What relevance is it how many kids he has?
3. What - and this one I cannot stress enough - relevance is it that he lives in a type of street that does not lead to another street?

Just bizarre.

[Samanfur]

They missed the house price out of the headline. They're slipping.

[Andy McDandy]

Neighbours on hand to say he's a quiet type, totally not the sort of person etc.

I wonder if they're positioning him as "one of us", must have been an accident, [Steve Coogan] no-one died [/Steve Coogan], terrible shame, now look at how he's treated compared to One Of Them?

[soulboy]

Regarding the house price, London journalists will assume a £300k house is a bedsit in need of considerable work rather than something quite nice in the frozen North. Paints entirely the wrong picture.

[Bones McCoy]

This is a verbatim transcript of today’s Mail headline. I’ve retyped it because it’s odd enough as it is, but outside of a front page it’s clearly unhinged:

LIVERPOOL SUSPECT IS A COMPANY DIRECTOR

PARADE DRIVER HELD FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER IS FATHER OF THREE WHO LIVES IN A CUL-DE-SAC

1. What relevance is it what his level of job seniority is?
2. What relevance is it how many kids he has?
3. What - and this one I cannot stress enough - relevance is it that he lives in a type of street that does not lead to another street?

Just bizarre.

"One of us, one of us, one of us....".

[davidjay]

They missed the house price out of the headline. They're slipping.

It's in the North. They're probably not sure what currency it's priced in.

[Samanfur]

Probably still in shock that it's not a mud hut.

[The Weeping Angel]

Well, that makes sense. Completly plauseable and not some bullshit your mate has made up on the spot.

[satnav]

When he was first taken in for questioning the police questioned him about driving under the influence of drugs but this angle now seems to have been dropped. This seems rather odd given that he was presumably tested for alcohol and drugs soon after the incident. These tests usually give instant results so the police would have known fairly early on if drugs were involved.

[Crabcakes]

Well, that makes sense.

Apart from quite clearly being bollocks, trying to pin the blame on Liverpool fans is quite the gambit. Because falsely accusing them of thoughtless acts of aggression has never gone wrong before, of course…

[davidjay]

When he was first taken in for questioning the police questioned him about driving under the influence of drugs but this angle now seems to have been dropped. This seems rather odd given that he was presumably tested for alcohol and drugs soon after the incident. These tests usually give instant results so the police would have known fairly early on if drugs were involved.

Maybe he tested positive at first then analysis of which drugs showed they were prescription.

[satnav]

I can remember when loners were blamed for most crimes now it would appear that 'family men' are now the real threat. If they ae not driving cars into large groups of people they are spying for the Chinese.

[Oboogie]

So, do we deport family men to Rwanda or burn them in hotels?

[Bones McCoy]

They'll be playing bass guitar for Bob Marley next.

[mattomac]

Well, that makes sense. Completly plauseable and not some bullshit your mate has made up on the spot.

Like I was on the street next to the incident… that sounds about as plausible as pigs flying.