I wake up around 5.30am and wonder if that’s a normal time to get up. Grok tells me most people get up around an hour later, so I stay in bed and scroll Lee Anderson’s X feed - he’s usually cooing in a racist way.
Victoria needs her sleep, so I let her lie-in while I go and ask the focus group we keep in a static caravan behind Number 10, what to do for breakfast. Back when I was in opposition they’d recommend a bowl of porridge with hazelnut milk, vanilla paste and goji berries, a cup of rooibos and a Guardian. Now I’m PM they’re more likely to recommend a Greggs bacon bap, can of Monster (Mango Loco) and a Sun.
I like being Prime Minister. There’s less anxiety and more presence than when I was leader of the opposition. Not having a vision is very liberating. I’m a Capricorn. So I crave routine. Morgan [McSweeney] is really into that too and before we start work we like to chant mantras in front of GB News. In opposition it used to be “follow the crowd, not your conscience”, but now I’ve got a thumping majority we’ve changed it to “follow the mob, not your conscience”.
If it’s a week where we’re releasing a white paper on immigration that surrenders almost entirely to populism, I’ll remind whoever is on the broadcast rounds that they now think multiculturalism has failed and migrants are in fact to blame for our poor housing and public services.
If they suggest that this cowardice validates the hateful nativists who stubbornly insist they don’t recognise the diverse country they’ve lived in their entire lives, and who will also never vote for me, I’ll ask Angela if she wants to retain the ministerial car and then look meaningfully at the crossed out pictures of Zarah, Jeremy and Dianne I keep on my desk.
Amidst all the righteous outrage and solemn pledges never to vote Labour again, it needs to be understood that what Labour is doing is planning for the NEXT election. A single term in office (let alone 10 months) isn't sufficient to turn around the utter shitshow served up by 14 years of Tory ruin. So make the difficult decisions now and hope that in 4 years, things are better and the voting populace shrug their shoulders and have forgotten the tough times we're going through now.Or, indeed, a frog-faced, nicotine-stained professional grifter.
Starmer’s choice of words on Monday was a complete mis-step, however, this isn't about here and now, it's about who wins the next election.
That's always been the plan.
Remember Brexit? The first and only time a country has voted to impose economic sanctions on itself?
We don't talk about it anymore, do we? Despite the absolute shithole it created.
I'd rather a lawyer in charge than that latin-spouting straw-haired gibbon in a blue suit that cost countless lives during the pandemic.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has launched a blistering attack on UK Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer and the leaders of France and Canada - saying that they had "effectively said they want Hamas to remain in power".Next week he'll be accused of being a Zionist in league with Netanyahu.
He also accused Starmer, Emmanuel Macron and Mark Carney of siding with "mass murderers, rapists, baby killers and kidnappers".
Netanyahu was speaking after Thursday's deadly attack on Israeli embassy staff in Washington. Days earlier, the UK, France and Canada had condemned Israel's expanded offensive in Gaza as "disproportionate" and described the humanitarian situation as "intolerable".
Downing Street has pointed to Sir Keir's condemnation of the Washington attack.
In that post, external, Sir Keir called antisemitism an "evil we must stamp out".
All three countries denounced the Washington killings, which saw embassy workers Yaron Lischinsky, 30, and Sarah Lynn Milgrim, 26, shot dead at an event hosted by the Capital Jewish Museum.
The suspect, Elias Rodriguez of Chicago, repeatedly shouted "free Palestine" as he was arrested, police said.
Social media accounts linked to the suspect indicate that he was involved in pro-Palestinian protest movements. Investigators say they are working to verify online writings purportedly by him that accuse Israel of genocide in Gaza and criticise US policy.
This is a deal that will weigh Starmer down for the rest of his time in politics. It is like Gordon Brown “selling the gold”. Actually, it is worse, because selling the gold was a sensible decision: the government should not be speculating in precious metals on behalf of citizens – it was simply bad luck that the price went up afterwards.
- By Oboogie
- By Malcolm Armsteen
- By AOB