[Bones McCoy]

A spokesman for the Potato Processors Association said: “Most of our members already supply both the EU and UK markets and they have therefore adapted to EU requirements by reformulating their products accordingly.”

Frazzles and Walkers Smoky Bacon changed their recipe in 2023, to keep selling into the EU.

Rule takers.

First they came for our asbestos topped snacks.

[Youngian]

Trolling for clicks

[Samanfur]

We're going to need a smaller nanoviolin.

[Bones McCoy]

Crikey, what next in the ladder of Rich people's penury:
* My horses are getting cold.
* I can't afford dowries for my daughters.
* I can't pay to commission my sons in socially prestigious regiments.

I've probably said this before:
* There's Charles Dickens / Irvine Welsh poor - for folks like us.
* There's Jane Austen / Leo Tolstoy poor - for Telegraph writers.

[Youngian]

Andrew misses the cutting satire of Paul Thomas and Brant.

[Youngian]

The Allister Heath Headline Generator

In honour of the Sunday Telegraph editor's apocalyptically pessimistic worldview, we present the Allister Heath Headline Generator. Choose an issue of the day. Press the button. Get your own tailor-made right-wing existential crisis clickbait
https://stirring-fox-7e1fab.netlify.app/

[Oboogie]

Whilst Mailwatch destroying The Telegraph is a splendid aspiration, I think we might be overreaching.
Sorry.

[Bones McCoy]

Whilst Mailwatch destroying The Telegraph is a splendid aspiration, I think we might be overreaching.
Sorry.

[Youngian]

Not from the AH headline generator

[kreuzberger]

Fucking weirdo.

[Bones McCoy]

Fucking weirdo.

Show me one (of them) who isn't.
It's a movement packed out with FLKs.

[Yug]

Torygraph headline

Starmer’s blind obedience to international law is a boon to the world’s monsters

Obeying the law is wrong, says mouthpiece of the "Party of law and order".

[Killer Whale]

Torygraph headline

Starmer’s blind obedience to international law is a boon to the world’s monsters

Obeying the law is wrong, says mouthpiece of the "Party of law and order".

Yeahbutt international law is made to force foreign Johnnys into line. Good chaps like us are above that sort of thing.

[Bones McCoy]

This headline has received a scathing conclusion from the Independent Press Standards Organisation.

Telegraph censured for story of fictional family’s struggle to pay school fees

Watchdog upholds complaint it breached code with article about impact of VAT on banker who did not exist

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2026/ ... chool-fees

How we empathised at the story of Al and Alexandra and children, Ali, Harry and Barry.
Such similar names must have caused confusion in the Moy household.

The article claimed that after the addition of VAT to school fees, introduced by Labour on 1 January 2025, the couple were forced to switch supermarkets from Waitrose to Sainsbury’s, reduce their gardener to once a month and were taking fewer long-haul foreign holidays in order to make ends meet.

But the family did not exist.

DID NOT EXIST

Who needs the Alister Heath Headline Generator when you've got proper Telegraph nutters doing the job.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/earn- ... hool-fees/

Last summer, Al Moy, 38, an investment banker and father of three, received a letter from his daughter Ali’s school saying they were increasing their fees by £10,000. Shortly afterwards, fees for the school his son Harry went to went up by £5,000.

“Almost overnight, the school fees went up from £55,000 per year to £70,000. The increase was shocking, but not entirely unexpected,” Moy says. “Ultimately, I believe, the education provided and the sacrifices we will have to make are worth it.”

Al is not quite sure why the increase at his daughter’s school was so much more than his son’s, but said they broke it down as £7,000 VAT, £2,000 on social activities and a £1,000 administrative fee.

The rest of the article is worse and the photo looks like it's being touched up.